Monthly Archives: May 2009

Tears in my eyes- from loss to gratitude

Today is Mothers Day. I woke up with a bad headache at 4:30 A.M. and spent the next several hours using everything from exedrine to tylenol to various oils and to deal with the anxiety and fear that accompanied the pain. I did some cognitive therapy to sort out the sense of loss I felt in several ways including my email program crashing and not attending church because I felt yucky.

I took more exedrine, then ate some oatmeal which helped me somewhat with the pain and anxiety but within an hour negative waves of frustration, It’s-Mothers-Day-this-is-not-fair and anger came back crashing on my short as if they belonged there.

Then one daughter called with her family to sing “Happy Mothers Day to You.” She also wrote a loving blog that made me cry.

Another daughter texted me a Happy Mothers Day. I set the phone down with a smile.

Another daughter who lives out of state called to wish me a Happy Mothers Day and listened to my pity party then gave her honest assessment of my day as she empathized with me then reminded me that my losses were all replaceable. She then excitedly announced that a surprise package was on it’s way. I hung up with tears in my eyes.

Now, although my head still hurts some, it doesn’t hurt as bad. Although I still feel the loss of some computer systems, it has now been put into perspective. Although I will continue to have pain, loss and tough times in the future – for today – I can enjoy my daughters and tears in my eyes. mothers day