Depression,Fear,God: I Dreamed of Drowning in Murky Waters

Good Morning Dear Friend,


Last night I had a dream.


In my dream I was thrust into the ugly, cold, dull-green waters of a lake. There was darkness all around when reality replaced shock and I was paralyzed for an instant.  I.  felt cold waters begin to wrap me in their tentacles as surely as a spider must bundle her prey. Knowing that I had precious little time to escape, I began fighting. I kicked my legs and tried by sheer energy and determination to get to the top but it seemed I was only going deeper.  Exhausted and scared beyond belief I finally started looking for where the light was and began focusing on the light as I swam slowly upward. 


It was not until then that I discovered I had a life jacket on. By now my energy was mostly spent and I stopped fighting.  As I trusted the life jacket to do it’s job I began ascending more rapidly but I was almost out of air.  My husband Dan swim downward in a panic and passed within a foot of where I was been but I didn’t have the strength to touch him as he swished by.  “Whether I make it or whether I don’t,” I prayed “I will put my trust in thee God, either way.


As I slowly floated upward memories of family members began filtering through my heart and my tears mingled with the apathetic, cloudy waters of the lake.


Then suddenly and completely I surfaced.  My lungs burned, my limbs shook and I was nearly frozen but I was alive because I finally stopped fighting what is and began trusting in the life jacket of God’s care and love.  It was God’s power and my trust that allowed me to ascend to the light.


My dream ended.


I awoke gasping for air and sat up in my bed feeling very grateful to be alive.  I then began asking what this had to do with real life.  I don’t know about you, but I didn’t have too far to look to find that progress will come only when I am willing to “let Go and let God” help me in matters of parenting, the financial crisis the country is in, headaches and other things. It brought a calmness to my thoughts and a deeper trust to my heart.  I hope it helps you in the same way. 


I’d love to hear your stories and experiences about the power of trust in crisis as well.


Your friend,


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  • Diana Gourley  On October 12, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    Thanks, Patricia, for the reminder to stop struggling, let go of our fear, and trust God. I do know that He has the power to do His work in me, but sometimes that power is thwarted by my mortal weakness–I push Him and the blessings He would bestow upon me away. Thankfully, I know that weakness can be turned to strength. As we come unto the Lord then we are promised that weak things will be made strong. I hope and pray that all my friends, old and new, will be patient with me as I struggle for light and life and the power of the Lord to lift and save me. One day, we will all triumph over all our foes and find great joy together in the presence of the Lord.

  • Lotta  On October 15, 2008 at 8:49 am

    Dear friend!

    That was a lovely dream:)

    The very same night you had this dream I had another dream ways away here in Sweden.

    I dreamt about a young boy that actually drowned in a latrine (is that the word?). The old kind of toilet they used to have outside on farms in the old days. (Well still in many summerhomes over here…*s*). It was a deadful dream and I woke up quite scared and not exactly at ease…Someone (that I didn’t even now) had died and the worst was that noone even helped him.

    Well I dont have to be a genious to understand that the dream really was about myself. Me with too much lecturing and tudoring than I can handle at the moment (stupid planning I tell you…).

    I realized (as many times before) that it was a choice I had made myself. A choice to increase my workload this fall but in the end I really just can’t handle it. It’a all about my own agency and choice and the only one that really plans my calendar is ME.

    Well…I plan differently now for the future…and for 2009 and pray for strength to pull this fall through. To find that balance in life seems to be a life-task for me….Even if you systemize your calendar to the extent that I do (I even color in work and relaxationtime in different colors..) it doesn’t do much good if you put in too much orange (time that takes energy). One can easily use the right tools in a wrong way…*s*

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