Recently I became a worry wart when our soldier son who is serving in Afghanistan called to say he had hurt his back and ribs and was in a medical tent facility scheduled to come home.  “Oh no” I thought “what if his injury is permanent?  What if it is disabling? What if our 22 year old son comes home to live forever?”

Worry was my constant companion that day.  Finally I got out my “Worry Wart” first-aid ideas and started to apply them.

1. WORSE TO WORSE WRAP.  I find it helpful to ask myself how I could survive if worse came to worse.  I got out a paper and faced the possibility of having him come home disabled for life.  I wrote what life might be like and included a list of the positive and negative experiences I might have if that were the case.  As usual I found that if that was supposed to be part of my life journey, God would help me.  Like Nephi said “I will go and do the things which the Lord commandeth for He giveth no commandments unto the children of men save he prepareth a way for them to accomplish the thing which he commandeth.”  As I faced the possibility I thought of the help our family and our ward would give and I felt greater peace.
2.   BUG SPRAY. They say that where there is one ant there are many more nearby.  I have found that once my “worry glands” get activated there are other worries that begin pouring in.  I had been using Facebook messaging to keep in touch with Joseph nearly every day!  Then for 6 days after Christmas we heard nothing. During that time, other bugs and worries popped up.  Things like my relationship with family members, my housework, my office work etc.  My worries snowballed and rolled down the mountain of my mind.  Finally one morning I sat down and wrote all the bugs and worries I could think of then decided whether they were things I had total, partial or no control.  After that I was able to prayerfully give them to the Lord or do something to resolve the worry/bug.
   1. I haven’t heard from Joseph-no control-I will pray for him
   2. I don’t feel close to my friend anymore-partial control-I can call and talk to her about it
   3. You get the idea.
   4. FRIEND THERAPY. Sometimes paperwork wasn’t enough and I had to find someone to brainstorm with.  In my iPhone I have a list of people I can do this with.  I labeled it “friend therapy” and included the names of people I felt I could confide in, brainstorm with etc.   Often a friend can shed light and hope on a fearful situation.
   5. QUOTE POWER. My friend, Darla, helped me come up with a list of quotes that soothed and calmed my soul.
      1. What God brings us to, He’ll help us through
      2. God knows how things will turn out. I can trust in him.
      3. If worse comes to worse…it won’t be the worst
      4. All things work together for good to them that love the Lord
      5. Let them worship how where or what they may
      6. TRAIN TRACKS. I worried about what my son was doing or whether he was having problems with the word of wisdom and what he was doing with his time while laid up in the hospital.  I used to believe that I was like the engine of our family train. I mistakenly thought that my husband and children were attached to me and that it was my responsibility to pull them all back to heaven. I now believe that after baptism we each have our own tracks to run on. The Savior is my engine and it is up to me to stay attached to Him. In this way I can listen to His spirit and keep on moving forward, calling encouragement to my husband and children and giving help when directed by Him.
      7. SAVIOR SAUVE. Darla told me about a Bishop who was very worried about the members of his ward.  After much prayer and pleading  with the Lord he was reminded that the Lord is aware of each person’s situation and was in the business of saving.  He could do his best then leave them in the hands of the Lord. I could do the same with my worries.
      8. LIFE LIFT.  James Jones tells the story of his relationship with his rebellious son and how he finally was able to turn his son over to the Lord and admit to him “This is your life” then stop trying to take it over.

Our Son is still in Afghanistan.  We still don’t know the extent of his injuries or when or if we will see him next.  But instead of feeling a source of fear, I feel trust.  I recall Nephi when he crept into the city to get the plates not knowing how this was to be done; only knowing that he had a work to do.

As we move forward in this experience and others, we don’t know how this is to be done or if he will heal there in Afghanistan and resume his work.  By the grace of God when faith replaces worry I am able to move forward (at least for this moment in the year 2012!)

For help with this and other kinds of emotional  first-aid check out my FIRST-AID FOR FEELINGS book available at my website patriciapotts.com

It was 6 A.M. and black outside.  Winter was taking her toll as freezing rain fell on the unfamiliar parking lot. As I left the store   I wondered how to head home.  I had gone farther away from home because my Wal-mart didn’t have what I needed and I had to leave for a workshop by 7A.M.

Because of the rain I didn’t want to risk traveling the freeways so I decided to turn left onto a smaller local road.  I watched the lights turn red, yellow and green as I waited for the green arrow turning lane.  That time of the morning there was no one behind me but plenty of cars were whizzing past me to head to the freeway.  I wondered when I would see my green arrow turn green. It seemed as if everyone else’s lights turned green three times while I waited for one!  Finally I realized that I wasn’t in the Since no one was in the left turning lane the light wasn’t changing!  I had mistakenly aligned myself in the freeway access land.  There, of course I would never encounter the left turn arrow and forever remain in limbo.

After I changed lanes I continued on my way home, I thought of the many times my life had similarly been in limbo.  Times when it seemed that hope as I might, I got everything but my green arrow.

Years ago when I was recovering from brain tumor surgery.  I often experienced debilitating headaches that left me in limbo, stopping me from moving forward in my recovery. This ordeal lasted for months on end.

I remember one spring day in West Jordan sitting at the kitchen table and looking out at the patches of weeds in back yard that was meant to be a garden.  “One more thing I’m not doing,” I sighed, wondering what the rest of the day would be like.

At that moment an idea popped into my head, “If you spend 10 minutes a day you can recapture part of that area and make it beautiful. That is something you CAN control.”  A few days later I went to the library and learned about circle gardens. There I learned that I could dig out shallow garbage can lid sized mini garden plots and plant tomatoes  and peas at the edges.  By the end of the summer there were many things I still could not control because of my health issues, but I remember feeling blessed that such a simple idea could help in such a profound way.  A little it at a time I was burrowing out of limbo.

I also found application with my headache.  This is shown in the following excerpt:

Acceptance Led to Rebuilding

          My feelings of futile powerlessness began to be replaced with a kind of spunky protectiveness as I learned preventative measures such as nutrition, chiropractic care and some alternative medicine.  I typed up a paper that included names and phone numbers of people who were willing to take over for me if I needed it.  The paper also listed ideas for medications and what I could do to ease my head pain such as a chiropractor, cold packs, etc.   

When the inevitable pain arrived, I pulled out my large print paper and followed the course of action I had previously outlined. (When I was in pain, it was hard to open my eyes, let alone think very well.)  The paper took over the thinking process, allowing me to focus on moving through the list. .- My Journey from Darkness to Light pg. 72 (LDS version)

So, the next time we find ourselves caught up in the limbo lane (whether it is waiting for that new baby to be born, building a new home, struggling with health issues, wondering if “he” will ever pop the question or simply waiting in line at the store) we can prayerfully examine our situation, switch lanes and find something, however small, that we can control and do it!

“By small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6).

CTR…

 By Patricia Potts

Too often I find myself doing the CTW dance (Counting the Wrong).  I count the number of things going wrong instead of what is going right! I look at what I do and say that is wrong, pretty soon the negative multiplies and I see negatives wherever I look. CTW is like a dark-eyed monster with an insatiable appetite constantly demanding more and more to eat.  He doesn’t have to look hard to find negative things so he can keep feeding all day long.   

A few years ago our extended family went  waterskiing. There were more than twenty relatives attending through the day. My niece Toni and her husband Mike were graciously running their boat so that everyone received a turn to water ski.  At the end of the long day I gave Toni a check to help cover our portion of the gas for the day. Instead of just handing it to her quietly, I mentioned to my mother the amount we contributed.  Afterwards I realized how prideful I had been to want to take credit and was so embarrassed.  I found myself wishing that I could just erase my words.

A few days later my granddaughter asked her grandpa for money instead of me. She knew I was stingy with money. Again I was embarrassed about my money attitude. 

The next morning I recognized that the house was messy, I had also misplaced a book and a phone number . . . the list went on and on.

About this time I realized that I was doing the CTW dance. I was counting the wrong in life when I needed to be counting the right. I was also reminded that I was not sinning in these things. I was just making human mistakes that I could learn from and then move on.

I knew I needed to counter my negative attitude by giving myself credit for what I did right:  CTR.  I did an about face and began to count anything that I saw or did that was right.

1. 1.   I was dressed before 7 a.m.
2. 2.   I put the milk away
3. 3.   I washed the table off
4. 4.   I lit a nice candle
5. 5.   I had enough money to pay our doctor bill and house payment
6. 6.   My husband has a good job
7. 7.   I have good health right now
8. 8.   …. (by now my attitude is better and I can start looking on the brighter, side of things)

I had a similar experience one day on the porch.  One morning as I stepped onto my front porch, I looked to the west.  There, above the mountains loomed dark, ominous clouds daring anyone to think of the day as pleasant.  They seemed to form themselves into a defensive football team two layers deep, preventing my entrance to a good day. Turning, I faced the east. Above the snow-capped mountains hung hope.  The sun had painted the sky with the brightest blue and the whitest white and it seemed to laugh at the darkness, declaring herself the triumphant winner.  The light of hope won my attention, my devotion and my direction.  As I face darkness in my life, I can remember that changing directions can make all the difference.

I find great power when I recognize that CTW is overpowering my life, I stop, change directions and begin to CTR (Count the right.) – My Journey from Darkness to Light by Patricia Potts pg. 102

Emotional Wellness-

Patricia Potts

Stress Management. Is this really Possible?

Guest Column by Lena Baron:

Stress Management. Is this really possible?! I ask myself this question every day. Especially as I go through my Stress Management course this semester. I know I said that I was going to blog all of my Stress Management diary posts. But some just don’t need to go public.:)

Last week I read every word of the chapter that was assigned. By the time I was finished I found myself in a stupor of frustration, yet wonder. Especially as I read about Maslow’s theory about Self-Actualization. I believe that he has hit it pretty close on what our potential is for true inner peace. I just don’t have a clue how it’s possible to find the time to take the time to reach the steps as a crazy mother of three busy boys. I can barely gather my thoughts to blog let alone analyze my inner self and it’s thoughts. I NEED TO though! I have said before that I need to get away and write. I really believe that that will be the only way for me to sift through my inner self. And that will take an insane amount of planning and inconvenience for way too many people. So how do I maintain the ounce of sanity I have at the moment?


I’ve taken more afternoon’s off in the last couple of months then I have… ever. Outings just for myself. Mostly to go to the Spa (it really helps to know the owner;).

I’ve listened to meditation and relaxation programs before I fall asleep. This has been a good experience. I hope to find more and explore this avenue.

I breath more. Seriously.

I’ve laughed out loud as much as possible.

That’s how I’ve maintained this week.

New Music Studio For Guitar Students

Yea!  We have a performing group complete with new mikes, drums, electric piano, bass, rhythm and electric guitar and we now have a room to rock out!!  It has been so much fun!  Stay tuned for performance times and dates.

Needle in a Haystack?

When I was in Elementary School I went to a Church activity.  That night Spenc Pock sat on a haystack and sang to us.  The lights were low and there was a light directly on him.  I was mesmerized by the rhythm and message.  I was captivated as if I were the only one in the room. 

That night I decided that one day I would play guitar and one day I would sing for others on a haystack. 

I found pictures of haystacks and I drew haystacks and for years I dreamed of my goal, pondered about it and prayed about it.  When I was shopping at Walmart at the first of October I found a lonely bale of hay in a center aisle.   I took it home and let it be part of our POTTS PIZZA POP GUITAR PARTY in October. 

Yea! I finally got to sit on a haystack and sing to a group of people.

Dreams really do come true and sometimes we do find needles in our haystacks!

 SATURDAY BLOGS

I am now a guest blogger on Saturdays for Latter-day Women Magazine online.  Join me for short stories and tips guaranteed to increase your emotional health!

http://latterdaywoman.com/

(click on the brown box farthest to your left J)

Workshop available at House of Hope on October 20, 2011.

No cost.

1:45 PM

If you are interested in coming contact me at patripotts@gmail.com

Workshops available at SLCC on November 1^st at 8:30 a.m., 11:30 a.m. and 1:00 p.m.

Email me for further information. patripotts@gmail.com

New Workshops in the Works for 2012!!

Kerri and I have often wished we had more time during presentations to churches, schools etc.  Then the idea struck us that we could share what we have through extended workshops!

Therefore, we plan to begin a 4 part workshop in January. The cost is $10.00 (50% will be donated to NAMI.) It will be held in my home and include more hands-on exercises.  We are excited about this idea and would love to add you to the waiting list.  Please sign up at patriciapotts.com.  Let us know whether daytime or evening works best for you on a Tuesday or Thursday.

Let’s start 2012 in a great way!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yea!  My book is now available on Nook and Kindle for just $2.99!!!!

I have a dear friend who just lost twins at 20 months along. She lost her previous baby about the same time to down syndrome.

My heart hurt as I visited her shortly after her hospital stay. As we sat on the couch I felt her pain and sorrow as we watched her 4 year old son play with his toys…alone.

Her arms were empty and her soul was numb as once again we talked about the path that lay ahead. As I drove home tears fell and once again I wondered why it had to be this way. Why so many trials in just two years and then I remembered a lesson from my life long ago when I was pregnant and living through a devastating depression.

The Day Will Come
I glanced at the clock that read 2 A.M. then sat perched on the side of the bed in my nightgown, with my arms folded on top of my rounded belly. Quickly I wiped tears from my face and took a deep breath. As Dan placed his hands on my head I prayed for guidance, for help and for hope. Then through the power of the Holy Ghost the words Dan spoke through my Father in Heaven began to bless me, soothe me and teach me. They permeated our quiet room and my trembling ebbed as Father’s message entered my heart.
As I sat there I could visualize myself receiving a similar blessing before I came to receive my earthly experience. It was as though I was viewing a video of my past. I saw my Father placing His hands upon my head and felt a great love for Him and an immense respect as well as His deep love for me and His confidence in my ability to succeed. I could imagine my Heavenly Father telling me that I would have experiences on earth that I would need in order to return to Him again. Among the experiences He named was that of depression. Through the blessing I was promised that “one day this will be a blessing to you, your family, and all those around you.”
Dan completed the blessing in the name of Jesus Christ and I opened my eyes. Warmth and love replaced the shaking and fear. Dan and I embraced each other and wept. Although it was hard to believe just how this hellish experience with depression could ever be a blessing, at least now I knew that it wasn’t just a lack of character, a fatal flaw or a terrible imperfection…. It was part of my life’s experience that God somehow meant to use to benefit myself and others.
The blessing helped me in my recovery and gave life more meaning, making me want to live again. Knowing that my depression was something I had agreed to experience helped me to overcome part of my guilt. Although it didn’t by any means solve all the questions and problems that were swimming around in my confused head, it did provide hope.

-My Journey from Darkness to Light by Patricia Potts LDS version

Many years have come and gone since that dark night. I saw the fulfillment of the blessing as I have written books and spoken to hundreds of men and women about understanding and overcoming depression.

As I finished driving home from my friend’s house I had a quiet feeling that the loss of her babies would someday be a blessing as she reached out with compassion to others. I believe it could have been one of those “agreed upon” experiences.

The next time another trial comes my way I hope I’ll remember that blessing so long ago when in the dark of the night a light was born.

My story begins last week at the Epcot Center in Orlando, Florida. My husband and I went to Disneyworld following his business seminar. I felt a headache coming on fast as we approached the France exhibit. I slumped against the wall onto the carpeted floor and told him to go ahead without me. I nursed my head while he was gone for a 20 minute presentation in the next room. During his absence I got some Excedrin and a coke, and then took my glasses off to rub my eyes. When Dan returned I was ready to take his hand and he helped me up. We walked and I felt thankful that my head was better but when I reached up to adjust my new $250.00 glasses I discovered they had disappeared.

“Oh no” I groaned,” I took them off to rub my eyes. “

While Dan ran back to the France exhibit, guilt began playing its well-rehearsed dance on the stage of my mind. After an hour of fruitless search and inquiries Dan returned to report that the glasses were gone. Ugh.

The last two hours at Disneyland were subdued for me. “If only” and “What if” swarmed in my head, threatening to resurrect my headache. Not even Disney’s fireworks blasted the fog from my mind. Dan tried to help by saying “Honey, these things happen. If they are lost, they are lost; we’ll just have to order new ones.”

But his words fell on deaf ears as my own self-talk shouted, “You are so stupid; you wasted all his time, now we’ll have to spend the money, make the time to get new ones.”

That night we got to bed past midnight and we had to get up at 4 AM to catch a plane home.

We managed to return the rental car and get in line for a security check in plenty of time, but when my backpack went through the scanner I was pulled aside. The officer found two unopened cans of pop. Double Ugh. When she rescanned the bag she also found suntan lotion. Triple ugh. In my frustration I also left my laptop and jacket on the ramp. Dan had to bring me my lap top and another woman asked if the sweater was mine. Quadruple ugh!

By now tears were forming, threatening to erupt right in front of the security officer. I felt as though I had fallen into my own private hole of stupidity lined with “ughs.” All I wanted to do was disappear before one more ugh landed on me. I plopped onto a chair beside Dan with my offending backpack. I dared anyone to look at me or say anything to me as hot tears finely escaped and fell from my unshielded eyes down reddened cheeks.

“Are you all right?” Dan asked

Without even bothering to look at him I responded through gritted teeth, “I will be!”

As we waited for our flight I put my head in my hands and wondered how long it would take to climb out of the hole this time. It felt five feet deep and very confining.

Climbing out of the Hole

There are many ideas that help me pull out of negative emotional holes. They are often as varied as the problem itself, but here are some ideas that helped this time around.

Prayer. Always needed
Sleep. if needed. I was able to get a few hours of sleep on the plane. Three more when we arrived home.
Friends. During part of the time Dan was looking for my glasses I used my cell phone to call friends and daughters so they could help me begin to put perspective on the situation. I was also blessed to meet a new friend on the plane.
Temporary Solutions. Pulling out a pair of old glasses once we got home allowed me to get back to semi-normal life instead of squinting until I could get new ones.
Recovery Meetings. I went to an LDS Recovery Support group. It helped me so much to be around people who are letting-go-and-letting-God
Music. I enjoy listening to Pandora. I choose my favorite inspirational artists and songs.
Exercise. A simple walk helped get the endorphins going.
CTR instead of CTW. It took little effort to count the wrong about myself but counting the right helped me climb out. It can be as simple as giving myself credit for having a driver’s license!
Cognitive Therapy. Paper and pencil can do wonders. A more thorough explanation can be found in my article: “Leafing Your negative Feelings Behind,” in Latter-Day Woman Magazine as well as my website: patriciapott.com.
Stress reducing supplements. I took Be Calm and Neurozone
Do something. Running to the store was helpful because it put my mind on something else
Laughter. Dan was laughing about the airport event within hours. It took me days before I could even smile about any of it, but when I did, a smile, laughter, and writing this blog helped.
Whether you have lost your keys or your glasses or done something else that doesn’t exactly qualify as a brilliant move, I hope that along with prayer these simple ideas will help you as much as they helped me. Life at the top of the hole is much more pleasant.

By Guest Blogger – Patricia Potts

www.patriciapotts.com

www.speak2myheart.com

My story begins last week at the Epcot Center in Orlando, Florida. My husband and I went to Disneyworld following his business seminar. I felt a headache coming on fast as we approached the France exhibit. I slumped against the wall onto the carpeted floor and told him to go ahead without me. I nursed my head while he was gone for a 20 minute presentation in the next room. During his absence I got some Excedrin and a coke, and then took my glasses off to rub my eyes. When Dan returned I was ready to take his hand and he helped me up. We walked and I felt thankful that my head was better but when I reached up to adjust my new $250.00 glasses I discovered they had disappeared.

“Oh no” I groaned,” I took them off to rub my eyes. “

While Dan ran back to the France exhibit, guilt began playing its well-rehearsed dance on the stage of my mind. After an hour of fruitless search and inquiries Dan returned to report that the glasses were gone. Ugh.

The last two hours at Disneyland were subdued for me. “If only” and “What if” swarmed in my head, threatening to resurrect my headache. Not even Disney’s fireworks blasted the fog from my mind. Dan tried to help by saying “Honey, these things happen. If they are lost, they are lost; we’ll just have to order new ones.”

But his words fell on deaf ears as my own self-talk shouted, “You are so stupid; you wasted all his time, now we’ll have to spend the money, make the time to get new ones.”

That night we got to bed past midnight and we had to get up at 4 AM to catch a plane home.

We managed to return the rental car and get in line for a security check in plenty of time, but when my backpack went through the scanner I was pulled aside. The officer found two unopened cans of pop. Double Ugh. When she rescanned the bag she also found suntan lotion. Triple ugh. In my frustration I also left my laptop and jacket on the ramp. Dan had to bring me my lap top and another woman asked if the sweater was mine. Quadruple ugh!

By now tears were forming, threatening to erupt right in front of the security officer. I felt as though I had fallen into my own private hole of stupidity lined with “ughs.” All I wanted to do was disappear before one more ugh landed on me. I plopped onto a chair beside Dan with my offending backpack. I dared anyone to look at me or say anything to me as hot tears finely escaped and fell from my unshielded eyes down reddened cheeks.

“Are you all right?” Dan asked

Without even bothering to look at him I responded through gritted teeth, “I will be!”

As we waited for our flight I put my head in my hands and wondered how long it would take to climb out of the hole this time. It felt five feet deep and very confining.

Climbing out of the Hole

There are many ideas that help me pull out of negative emotional holes. They are often as varied as the problem itself, but here are some ideas that helped this time around.

Prayer. Always needed
Sleep. if needed. I was able to get a few hours of sleep on the plane. Three more when we arrived home.
Friends. During part of the time Dan was looking for my glasses I used my cell phone to call friends and daughters so they could help me begin to put perspective on the situation. I was also blessed to meet a new friend on the plane.
Temporary Solutions. Pulling out a pair of old glasses once we got home allowed me to get back to semi-normal life instead of squinting until I could get new ones.
Recovery Meetings. I went to an LDS Recovery Support group. It helped me so much to be around people who are letting-go-and-letting-God
Music. I enjoy listening to Pandora. I choose my favorite inspirational artists and songs.
Exercise. A simple walk helped get the endorphins going.
CTR instead of CTW. It took little effort to count the wrong about myself but counting the right helped me climb out. It can be as simple as giving myself credit for having a driver’s license!
Cognitive Therapy. Paper and pencil can do wonders. A more thorough explanation can be found in my article: “Leafing Your negative Feelings Behind,” in Latter-Day Woman Magazine as well as my website: patriciapott.com.
Stress reducing supplements. I took Be Calm and Neurozone
Do something. Running to the store was helpful because it put my mind on something else
Laughter. Dan was laughing about the airport event within hours. It took me days before I could even smile about any of it, but when I did, a smile, laughter, and writing this blog helped.
Whether you have lost your keys or your glasses or done something else that doesn’t exactly qualify as a brilliant move, I hope that along with prayer these simple ideas will help you as much as they helped me. Life at the top of the hole is much more pleasant.

By Guest Blogger – Patricia Potts

www.patriciapotts.com

www.speak2myheart.com

My Pops

This month I lost my dad who I lovingly called Pops. He was 83 years old and suffered from cancer.  It was a sweet experience to help out each week for the last few months of his life.  My most painful time was the night after he died when I woke up sobbing and missing him.  Our daughter prepared a video show of his life that is priceless.  I am so thankful for technology that allows his memories to live on  in such a beautiful way.

Piggy Back

One of my favorite childhood pastimes was going piggy back.  As a mom I played the horse more than once.  Now I use the same concept when I want to “get around” to doing something but have a hard time finding the time.

Lately I was thinking of how much I wanted to work on playing the guitar and blogging.